R E S P E C T
My meeting with another programmer today lasted more than two hours. It started just after lunch time, but I wasn’t able to get any food beforehand. As it would happen, it was also freezing outside and the usual lunch partner was vacant from the office. In this situation, I usually stick around work, skip lunch and head home alittle early. One eatery called to me though. It was the familiar voice of Panchero.
If you know Panchero’s, you already know it is a source of all Mexican food that is cheap around Ann Arbor, besides possibly Sabor Latino. And if you’ve talked to me lately, you will know that I am on my own personal boycott of Panchero’s because of events occuring within Panchero’s early last summer. Would I hold out against the tempation of taste or give in to my desires and lose my own battle for economic supremacy?
The fabled event that casted me from P’s forever was the unlawful removal of currency from this man’s wallet. I’m convinced that one or more Panchero’s employees took 40 dollars out of my wallet after mr. dumbass (myself) left it there on a chair for approximately 10 minutes after leaving. Previously, as a young revolutionary, I would have cursed myself and rationalized the taking of said money through oodles of white guilt, as many of the employees of Panchero’s are of Latin American decent. I probably would have said something like “Hey, it’s a college town filled with brat ass shitfaced rich kid student’s, if I were in the same position, I would have done it, VIVA LA REVOLUCION, DOWN WITH THE SERVICE ECONOMY!” In the end blaming myself for the fiscally irresponsible manuveure of leaving my wallet on the chair. After all, who leaves a wallet on the chair but a privileged white boy. But that was when I was a damn commie student, riddled with guilt over the generous goverment loans that had been bestowed upon me. I’m in the “working world” now, I have to pay taxes and dammit if someone is gonna take 40 dollars out of my damn wallet after I’ve been a loyal customer for over 6 years. “oi oi, republicans, oi oi!”
So it was only after I had received my wallet back in a brown paper bag, and not questioned as to anything regarding the contents of the wallet or what it looked liked that I became utterly convinced of the unlawful activities. The man behind the counter was all to eager to get rid of the wallet and me. I didn’t ask about the money, accuse anyone, or call up and complain; getting people disciplined or fired would only implicitly support some stupid corporate structure (which i was obviously already supporting through my previous financial backing 
Or perhaps, I let some sort of racist white guilt get me, after all.
I haven’t gone back to Panchero’s since that day. I don’t plan on it, but today I was really tempted. Thankfully I didn’t. I ended up eating at home. I take the idea of personally boycotting a business with a grain of salt. I don’t actually think that it will affect business, nor do I think other’s should or would follow suit. I’ve done it to other businesses before and when I tell people about it, I feel they think it’s amusing. It’s more important as an act of self discipline in my life. Now, certain types of discipline like practicing martial arts everyday may seem way more important to some people, and hey, I totally agree with that. That’s both proactive and about self restraint (e.g. not going out and kicking everyone’s asses). This type of discipline falls into the category of self restraint and self respect.
This all sounds very puritanical. In a way, it is. I was raised in a family and community of restraint. “Live within your means, and when anyone wrongs you, show restraint and let them know through restraint. Don’t let your emotions and desires get the best of you.” But my family was so restrained they didn’t even have to say that to say it. I haven’t always followed that though. I have a nasty temper that has been tempered (haw haw) over time. Obviously, total restraint has the negative impacts of noncommunication in certain circumstances, but when the injury is bad enough, not communicating becomes vastly superior to looking like a spineless blubbering sensitive idiot (which has happened more than once to me). And in the case of a monolithic corporate business, why not boycott? I feel like as generations since WWII have been handfed consumer products more and more, our inability to resist these products and our desires for them has grown. Grandparents who went through the great depression are the ultimate nitpick consumers.
Any type of political ideals that are touted need to start at the personal level and the majority of the time I’d bet they will have something to do with self-discipline. Overall, I’m still on the road to finding the middle path (which may very well be the road I’m on without the pavement). I know cutting ties with things can lead to a backlash from yourself and others, but what would any self respecting human do?