adam @ 404

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to learn a card game well. Yesterday, I went down to the Central Library to find some books to read on card games. Looking through the Games section I found a book, “Slot Machine Strategy: Winning Methods for Hitting the Jackpot.” My first response was to laugh; I had to read this book.

It’s a quick read, written in an, at times, war story-like style by a “slot veteran.” Even after reading it, the skeptic in me thinks some casino owner union paid the author with the golden pseudonym, Macintyre Symms, to write a book to give people enthusiastic hope that there is actually a winning strategy to a game that is probabilistically stacked against them. The other part of me thinks that somewhere past the cheerleading (”be proud of slots”), annoying over-reliance on anecdotal evidence (especially in the case study section where someone is quoted as saying “slot machines are a lot like the stock market”), and seriously obvious common sense (e.g. don’t gamble on illegal machines or do illegal stuff) , there are some pretty keen tips and observations about the business of slot machines that build a general strategy of slot machines.

The number one reason I think the book is leading people astray is that it doesn’t reinforce the idea that in fact the odds are always against you when playing the slots. It’s truly a gamble and chances are you’re going to lose. If you want a better bet on earning money, go invest in bonds or mutual funds or better yet, work instead of going to the casino. It is mentioned in the book that casinos wouldn’t have slot machines if their aggregate returns didn’t turn a profit on total plays, but it isn’t stressed that every single machine (unit of gambling/dealer) on the floor is going to return a profit over time (even factoring in fixed-costs like the building and machine itself). No matter what machine you play, the odds are against you. Chances are going to be better on certain table games, and in some cases, they can actually be in your favor. But in those cases, the casino can rely on free alcohol, variable pacing, quick talking dealers, wait staff and other elements to serve as distractions to confuse and throw-off gamblers of these thinking games. There are relatively few of the same effective distractions in the “mindless” world of the slots.
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Europe, here I come. Last night I decided that I’d procrastinated too long, over-analyzed too long, waxed ponderously far too long… so I booked the flight. Happily, my 100k frequent-flyer miles actually paid off. I’ll be spending two and half weeks in turkey with a three day stopover in Amsterdam, starting in late May. I’m flying into Istanbul, which is technically on the European continent, so to answer your question, “Yes, I will be in Europe.” Time to learn some Turkish.